MTV2

Okay...so I thought I was somewhat familiar with Pop Culture.......I have two children under 30 who keep me informed, I can find my way around the internet okay, I even listen to some music recorded in this millenium. But tuning in to MTV2 to watch "Some Kind of Monster," the documentary on Metallica's comeback and their reliance on a $40,000 per month psychobabble management guru who helps them through their issues, the grueling commercial time left me feeling like a stranger in a strange land. Not unlike Lars, James and Kirk, the nearly middle-aged Metallica musicians undergoing group therapy while recording their new album, I found myself in need of an interpreter to guide me through the onslaught of mass media marketing. I found it difficult to differentiate the video games from the Army Reserve recruiting films- the Army's version included the free DVD "Stand Ready" and a sports watch. Snippets of "Brothers in Arms" appeared to have been produced by an embedded reporter in Iraq. Confusing. As the evening progressed, I was encouraged by the emphasis on continuing education and noted airtime from both ITT and the James Madison's manufacturing plant, proudly cranking out high school diplomas complete with base metal synthetic azure-stoned domed class rings. And my holiday spirits were buoyed by selections from Chaotic Christmas, a punk collection showcasing a song that I believe was titled "Santa Must Die. " As I watched the metamorphosis of Lars, James and Kirk into a functioning, cohesive unit able to communicate without sarcasm and slamming doors, I, too, began to feel a part of the MTV culture, adding Arch Enemy, Diecast, Mortal Kombat Shaolin Monks, and Mountain Dew MDX to my vocabulary. With a slight air of superiority I recognized the names Papa Roach, System of a Down, and "All Night Long", the background music sung by Lionel Richie in the Mountain Dew MDX commercial....tag line "Be Nocturnal." A great commercial, by the way. And now since I know how "dirty boys get clean" and that RevRun is re-rapping an old package, I approach those under 20 with a new found confidence and, similar once again to the new and improved Metallica, I am the same but better.